Having multiple chronic illnesses like I do would make you think that I would have a handle on this subject....not! Allowing myself to rest is still one of the biggest adjustments I have had to make.
This week is a good example. I so wanted to write this post before now! I also wanted to accomplish more than going to the grocery store as my main activity for the week. BUT, my body was not cooperating!
My brain does not function properly on my "bad" days either. People with Fibromyalgia deal with what is termed brain fog. I know it sounds like it's right out of a science fiction novel, but it describes what it feels like while it's happening. On "bad" days it's even worse. It is as if my brain is half asleep, therefore I am pretty useless when it comes to accomplishing anything that might have to do with cognitive thinking which can include even carrying on a conversation....just ask my husband on that one!
You would think having conditions that make a person feel fatigued would make it easier for them to rest. Nope. My instinct is to fight it! My dilemma is that I have to fight fatigue/pain everyday, so it is difficult to distinguish when I really need to stop and rest or pay the price if I don't. Sometimes it is obvious to me, sometimes it's not. I have had to say no to a lot of things in my life just to maintain some sort of normalcy.
When you think about it, anytime any of us chooses to rest do we not feel as if we are missing out on something or that we are letting someone down because we are not "picking up the slack?" At least it seems that way to me. We need it though! There are people like me that need it because of physical conditions, but we all become weary from time to time Isaiah 40:27-31 NKJ.
The good news is that God never grows tired. Not only that but He renews us with His strength, and that's a promise! Maybe you're in the midst of a battle right now, maybe the biggest one so far in your life. Do you know that it is okay to rest in the midst of what you're going through? I speak from the perspective of someone who has been in the midst of battles and found out the hard way that it wasn't until I became weak that He became strong 2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJ.
What I realized was that when I feel I've reached my limit either one of two things happens, either God imparts me with His strength to continue on the same course OR He alters my course. Either way it is HIM and HIS power, not mine and therefore ONLY HE can get the glory for the victory that takes place. I think this may have been what Paul was speaking of in 2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJ.
The song by Al Denson titled Peace Be Still became a lullaby of sorts for me twenty years ago in the midst of my marriage crisis. It ministered to me in such a powerful way at the time and it still does when I get battle weary. It is my prayer and my song for us all today...